THE LOCAL.

Madge and Jim welcome you,
(Please come in)
Open seven days ‘til late,
(Never closed really)
Weekend entertainment,
(Piss heads and whores)
Bar meals available,
(Crisps and nuts)
Lunch served each day,
(Toasted sandwiches)
Sunday dinner too,
(Frozen all in one meals)
Full size snooker table,
(In a half sized pool room)
Sports on a big screen,
(Last year’s horse races)
Warm friendly atmosphere,
(Bring your own knife...)
Real Ales served.
(...A big fucker)